Shyness is a Choice

It is my humble opinion that shyness is a choice. I believe that while we were growing up, we learned that saying less was safer. All of us have different reasons for being shy. We might even be shy only in certain situations but we chose to be shy, because we have learned that it brings us safety.

I only talk from personal experience because I believe that is all that matters. If you can relate to my experiences than perhaps you can understand my point of view.

Growing up with stuttering can definitely impact you willingness to speak, as you can imagine. And I know why I have trained myself to avoid social situations. It is because I try to avoid going through the process of having difficulty speaking with someone. For me it is far safer to avoid eye contact and just walk past the person than start a conversation. I realize that I act shy but I’m really not. I am only shy because I have conditioned this response.

Likewise walking up to people and initiating a conversation is equally difficult because a cascade of scenarios flood my imagination. It is not that I am afraid of people, it is just that I am uncomfortable with myself. See how that makes sense? I can’t talk to people easily because I am uncomfortable with myself. I feel like I will fail at any moment. Obviously that is exactly what happens.

For people who don’t stutter but are shy, they are shy for a different personal reason. A reason which they likely don’t even acknowledge. Shyness is the result of picking up the idea that somehow interacting with people leads to an unfavorable outcome. There is no other reason to be shy.